29 Going on 79

On Monday night, Celine kicked off her world tour in Columbus, Ohio. Or at least that's what she made us think. It's no longer a mystery why her show was consistently sold out in Vegas, why she weighs twelve pounds or why she got married in a Montreal Cathedral with a forty pound headdress nailed to her skull. She's a diva that cares. It was immediately apparent that she treats every single concert as her first and her last. And even if it's a big load of ghetto-talking French-Canadian crap, you're led to believe her because she's chock full of charisma and sincerity. After Monday's concert, I'm even willing to move her off my top six tranny list - and place her at #7. Cher, Fergie, Tyra, Skeletor Shriver, Cindy Crawford and Brooke Shields make the top six of course.

The evening began with dinner at a local French bistro that's just blocks away from the arena - La Chatelaine. Of course my closest friends sold me out in the first 5 minutes and declared that I was on my way to the Celine concert and they were simply there to support my embarrassing Dion habit. Even I underestimated La'Dion and never dreamed that we would later sit in traffic for nearly an hour before actually arriving at the arena.

The concert began at 8:00 and we found our seats before 9:00. She opened just ten minutes later with "I Drove All Night," my favorite tune! But who am I kidding, the following hour and a half were all of my favorite tunes including the cliche closer - My Heart Will Go On. The Titanic montage on the video screens was a nice touch and I especially enjoyed the Phantom of the Opera candle-iers that dropped from the ceiling. She played all of her greatest hits, some new tunes and even did a cool dedication and cover of Queen. The show was so filled with drama and great dancing, it was awesome to watch even if you don't like the music. And to be fair, I ask my loyal pals to recall their own foot tapping and sheepish lip syncing throughout the concert. Sympathy or not, I'm grateful they shelled out the $60 to support me in this venture. How very noble of them!

And start saving now dear friends. Next time we're shelling out $400 bucks for the seats in front of the stage, right next to the Make-A-Wish kids! Farrah offers a great snapshot of the evening as well as a video here! Really, who's the bigger fan??